Kate

The hottest babe to hit East Florida since her Mother Karen in her prime.

Ron

South Florida’s #2 Baseball Memorabilia Dealer

Karen

Our hero, a Christian conservative self proclaimed hottest mom in Florida.

Doctor Wangles

Karen’s cat, who she openly admits she loves more than Ron or Kate.

Meet the

Langway Family

“What kind of service is this anyway!?”

— karen

The Film opens with pure tragedy….Karen goes out to eat at BaDingo’s family restaurant with her husband Ron and receives extremely poor service.

We soak in the pure drama of her horror in slow motion operatic fashion as the Waitress messes up her order, fails to bring refills, and forgets about the bill, leaving them sitting for minutes waiting for her to come back.

Karen demands that her husband Ron not leave the Waitress any tip, but after discovering he actually tipped her a small amount. Karen stirs up a big scene approaching the manager and demanding that her husbands tip be returned.

When the manager offers a free meal she gets offended, feeling deceived and starts a huge shouting match with all the staff and has to be pulled out by Ron.

a bad meal

at a restaurant sends Karen langway

on a path of destruction

not letting it go,

karen yields one of her

most deadly of weapons

bad internet

reviews

only this time, she takes it too far….

Karen goes home and writes a review of the restaurant that is “better than Shakespeare”, lashing out her anger with a one-star bomb of the joint.

Only problem is she doesn’t stop posting bad reviews, endlessly creating fake accounts and harassing the restaurant until the police have to get involved and show up at her house one day unannounced.

This causes the

police to come by

getting a glimpse on karen’s

garage

When the police arrive to chat with Karen about how she’s harassing the restaurant, they catch Karen carrying a box filled with autographed baseballs and footballs into her garage as they come by unannounced early one Saturday morning.

Initially Karen is very nice and sweet until the police start asking her about the restaurant, which immediately causes her to turn hostile. While they question her, they ask her about the baseballs she’s carrying, not really suspicious of her at first.

inside karen’s garage one of the police

officers spot tampa bay buccaneer’s

quarterback marcus ademonte’s

helmet

which was recently just stolen

She tells them her husband, Ron, owns a sports memorabilia store nearby. But, as they question her about her harassing reviews to the restaurant - they catch a glimpse of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ Quarterback Marcus Ademonte’s helmet stashed in the garage next to Karen’s Jet skis. The helmet was JUST reported stolen from the team’s practice facility and has his name literally engraved right on it in huge gold lettering. The Cop talking to Karen says he filed the report himself at the Buccaneer’s practice facility three days ago.

As soon as they notice the helmet, Karen awkwardly squirms away and shuts the garage on their face, running into the house in fear.

This now triggers an

investigation

looking into

Ron’s Sports Memorabilia shop

Ron’s shop is in a small Florida shopping center in West Palm Beach and deals mostly fake or stolen sports memorabilia to Boomers trying to hang on to glimpses of their past glory. He is an obsessive collector, but he keeps all the good stuff for himself and sells counterfeit junk to the public instead.

We meet Ron a couple weeks later in his shop as he’s trying to make some sales to kids who passed through the shop after a baseball game.

the sports Business is really bad at the store

kids are more interested

in ninjunto cards and this

“piece of ufo”

he’s selling

Ron tries to sell the kids on some baseball cards but all they care about are these weird Japanese Ninjunto trading cards and this section of oddities Ron has in the corner containing bizarre fake stuff like ‘Dinosaur bones’, magical crystals and a framed ‘Piece of a UFO’ Ron has for sale. The Kids buy some Ninjunto cards and scram and an older, Boomer sports fan comes in and grabs Ron’s attention.

A customer sees that

Marcus Ademonte Helmet

for sale and

immediately

buys it

Ron complains to the guy that kids today don’t even like sports cards so he’s forced to include all these other items because it’s what sells. The guy seems like a genuine Sports Fan, and notices the very same Marcus Ademonte Helmet that Karen had in the garage earlier now available for sale. He eagerly buys the helmet and hands Ron a fat wad of cash for it.

AFTER HE SELLS THE HELMET,

Ron gets tipped off

the fbi

are going to

raid

his shop soon

Afterward he meets with one of his contacts who provides him with all the fake “Certificate of Authentifications” - LYLE BECKETT. These Certificates are supposed to be from verified people notarizing that they witnessed the athlete sign the merchandise themselves, meaning it’s guaranteed 100% real. Lyle sells Ron packs of these certificates so he can illegally put them on whatever he wants. When they meet he tips him off he got word from his Cousin the FBI are on to Ron, so this is going to be his last sale. He tells Ron he got word the FBI is probably going to send in somebody to entrap him with a sale to buy something they know is fake or stolen any day now, they might have already stopped by.

Ron runs a

counterfeit

autograph operation

out of his garage

forging famous athlete’s signatures

Inside of Ron’s garage we reveal right from the get go this is the center of his entire fake autograph operation. He has vats of oil which he soaks brand new balls into to make them seem old and weathered, and then has his signer apply a fake signature applied on top of it.

Lyle says that the FBI isn’t even likely after Ron, they are most likely after his signer. Whoever is the one he has signing those baseballs, that’s who they want. He urges Ron to turn him in and Ron says he can’t, they would harm him far worse than the FBI ever could.

knowing that he doesn’t have much time

Ron starts

scheming

something to get out of dodge

Realizing he’s fucked, Ron starts making plans to get out of dodge as soon as possible. We don’t see exactly what’s he’s up to, just that from here we know Ron is scheming something.

meanwhile, karen is charged with

harassing the restaurant

and is ordered by the judge

to talk to a therapist

as part of her plea bargain

To avoid any criminal charges, Karen agrees to undergo three months of counseling. Karen meets with a therapist and starts pouring her heart out about her childhood. Every session she endlessly talks about her Father, Floyd Derber, and brings up memories from she was a little girl. Karen idolizes her Father, he was in the Navy and she considers him a war hero. He was awarded a medal by Ronald Reagan himself for his service and Floyd gave that medal to Karen, which she wears as a Necklace every day.

pouring her heart out to the therapist

makes karen realize,

she needs to

divorce

ron

Although the therapy sessions consist of Karen mainly talking about her father, it leads her to make a huge life changing decision - she needs to divorce her loser husband, Ron, as soon as she possibly can. Her therapist is initially confused when she tells her this about Ron, as she hasn’t really discussed him much to her only telling her that “he sucks”.

So, karen talks to a

lawyer

who goes through their finances and

reveals that she can’t

afford to

divorce him

The Lawyer bursts Karen’s bubble with some cold hard facts - her husband couldn’t be more of a dead-beat, he is basically broke, and so is she. Literally everything he owns is actually in his Mother Mary-Anne’s name and all their debt has been put solely into Karen’s name. She basically can’t even afford the retainer fee to divorce him.

Everything Ron “Owns”

is actually in his

rich mother’s name

his business, their home, cars,

everything

After looking through Karen’s finances, the Lawyer reveals that not only has Ron put all their credit cards and debt in her name, he doesn’t even actually own his own business or their house. The business is owned by Ron’s mother and he collects a paycheck from her every month, which she actually carefully watches over like a hawk because he has screwed up the business so many times. She forces Ron to literally drive over to her house every week to pick up the paycheck from her personally.

Ron on paper owns absolutely nothing of value, it would cost Karen thousands of dollars in legal fees that she doesn’t have.

the only thing that ron actually owns of value himself is

his massive

sports memorabilia

collection

he’s been amassing since a child

Except, Ron DOES actually possess something tangible that is very valuable; that is his personal sports memorabilia collection sitting in their bedroom. Ron owns loads of authentic autographed baseballs and sports memorabilia, he sells fake stuff but keeps the good ones for himself. He has some baseball cards estimated to be worth thousands alone sitting in glass cases hung on the wall and insanely unique relics from all his favorite players. It is literally a collectors’ wet dream.